This is part one of a series of eight drawings I did for a project in Subjects/Formats class. The assignment was to make an artwork based on an event that changed us as people. Since nothing in the outside world affects me whatsoever I had no choice but to make an artwork based on a personal event. The event of course is the aftermath of getting into big trouble in my freshman year in high school resulting in having to change schools and essentially abandon my old life and friends.
Rather than focus on the event itself, I decided to focus on the aftermath, which I feel was much more scarring, and continues to this day.The trauma I suffered from this event caused me to shut myself in and not make any art (other than insignificant doodles until late 2009. I felt that I was a hunted fugitive, and that I could never be happy again. I feared at the time that if I did make anything (art) too graphic or strange, people would report me to the guidance counselor or the police, branding me as insane or dangerous.
In short I was conditioned into hating everyone, fearing everyone, and to never expressing myself. Ever since then I had been searching for my true calling while facing some new traumatic events such as my first real breakup in 2009. While it may have made me avoid relationships altogether (as well as despise religion, marriage, and the whole idea of monogamy), at least I learned to let go and be more careful of choosing someone trustworthy. Also it helped push me back into making artwork again until my renaissance in 2011. Along with these experiences there were plenty of discoveries in the realms of music, film, and literature. I feel that right now I have come full circle in my artistic renaissance now that I'm in art school and am getting better and better in my work.
This series is done in the visual style of Goya, since he has been the biggest influence in my art. The story is also told in the fashion of romanticism since that is my favorite era of art history.
This first scene is meant to depict the hatred, humiliation, and suffering I faced as I was the center of attention. You can see in the crowd men shouting death threats, a woman fainting in disgust, gossip, paranoia and confusion all around. And in the corner only one person looks with a sympathetic eye. This is of course an exaggeration of what happened, since there was no trial since I wasn't arrested.
The styling of this was a mix of Goya's depictions of the Spanish Inquisition and the trial scene of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". I tried not to get too carried away in the designs on the crowd, but the grotesqueness fit since they're supposed to be evil. The main character (whom we shall simply cal "The Misfit") is sort of a cartoon caricature of myself since I understand myself best. I completed this one in an all-nighter (thankfully on a Saturday).
Micron pen (I forgot which kinds I used)
Windsor-Newton Colored Inks
Higgins Black Magic Ink
Higgins Calligraphy Ink
Speedball White Acrylic Ink
14 x 17 inches Bristol Paper
*This artwork is now no longer in my possession. It was sold at my school's student exhibition for $100 (I got 50)